Time is ticking

   What am I doing?

   I find myself asking this question a lot lately. I'm not sure if it is because I have achieved all of the goals I set when I was fourteen, or if I have lost course with the direction I need to be going with my life. Maybe it's just the age I am at where the world lunges at you in a fashion different than what you you are used to. Perhaps I'm just confused.

   Lets go back to my life between the ages of fourteen and nineteen. Everything was taken care of for me. I had a bed, warm meals and entertainment in exchange for dishes duty, lawn mowing and the occasional kids diaper. The job I aquired when I was fifteen was handed to me in a fashion where I almost didn't realise what a blessing it truely was. Not until a few years later when I understood the financial pain of a house mortgage as well as a heat bill, electricity and new roof.

   I'm self sufficient. Completely and utterly self sufficient. It's in my upbringing. I've got a job, car, house and wife (of which were my goals set when I was fourteen). It leaves me with a question that I've been struggling with for the last year and a half. "What's next?" I ask. Children of course will be a trip, Lower car insurance will ocme at twenty five... I don't want to retire ever in my life for fear of losing my mind.

   Perhaps the goals I'm trying to fabricate are ones that are too general and huge that I need to start smaller. It may be a mix between trying to find goals and procrastinating with the ones I already have. I for sure know I need more time  talking about serious matters with friends, quality time with my wife, time by myself to recollect my thoughts and most importantly, time with God. The things I fill my life with currently are starting to set in as a huge distraction. I feel drained and craving more precious time.